I Choose You
by sawo
Summary: She doesn't know what to do, that's what she tells them, and no one listens. Gaara/OC
1. Preface

**So I don't know where I am going with this exactly. The beginning words belong to my aunt.  
**

* * *

**_What is it about love that makes us feel so weak?_  
**

**_Is it the dependence?_**

**_The responsibility of this other human that relies on us so much? Maybe too much?  
_**

She holds him close, stroking his hair and whispering in his ear as he whispers against her chest, both hands held against his lips. She presses her lips against his head, squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears from flowing, but they go anyway and she almost hates herself for it. The strong one? As if, whoever said that was a liar. A bold faced liar. How could they say such a thing?

She begins to rock, taking him on the trip with her, and he just continues to whisper, speaking to nothing and something all at the same time.

_**Maybe it is the madness that comes with the love.**_

_**I mean, we're all a little crazy on the inside right?**_

_**Take a special kind of person to handle it.**_

_**But isn't that the fun part?**_

_**This roller coaster of love we take for one person?**_

She tightens her arms around him as he screams and thrashes, closing her eyes tighter, and he curses at her, flailing his arms against her. It doesn't bother her anymore, not like it used to, when she was new to it. It didn't bother her like it used to, when she knew nothing about it. When she knew nothing about him and what had happened, but she knew now and the only thing she could do was hold on, when he couldn't, when all he could promise was three simpler words, and she knew that was a feeble truth.

"_I'll remember you…"_

**_I think of it as a dog thinks of its human._**

**_When it likes you, it claims you._**

**_'This is my human, and no one will harm my human without going through_**

**_me first.'_**


	2. New Job

_Thank you NagariMitsukari11, for your lovely little review and FloodFeSTeR for the use of Nevaeh. I don't care if they don't have pens in the Naruto world, they do in mine (you'll understand when you read). And with the problems in the first chapter? I will fix it tonight when I get the chance. Promise._

* * *

"_I'll remember you…"_

Her eyelids fluttered open, her fingers stretching reactively out across the bed, searching through the sheets. When her hand came up empty she grumbled and sat up on her elbow, looking around the sunbathed room. Pink hair fell over her shoulder and she narrowed her eyes around the room. Dust particles floated through the air, making her sneeze, which meant she was lying on the bed again. She sighed and her arms fall at her sides, eyes on the ceiling.

Something was happening today…she just didn't know what anymore…

"Oh crackers!"

She flung herself from the bed, landing face first on the hardwood, and then she scrambled to her feet, stripping off her night clothes as she ran into the bathroom. Today was a very important day and she was almost late, the sun outside her window said that. She jumped into the shower, not bothered by the cold, and scrubbed her skin almost raw. She knew she should have gotten her grandmother to wake her up, but oh no she was old enough to wake herself up. Who was she trying to fool? The only creature she could fool was the cat, and that was debatable. She hurried out of the shower, nearly slipping on the floor. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest as she held onto the edge of the counter, trying to catch her bearings. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, straightening her back and she reached for a towel on the counter. She wrapped it around her small frame and walked back into her bedroom, shaking her fingers through her hair.

"Calm down Nevaeh…you can do this…" she muttered, opening the sliding door to her closet.

She reached into the closet and grabbed her sleeveless wrap dress and shut the door. She laid it out on her dresser and grabbed her wrappings. It always took a long time to wrap herself, from the toes all the way up to her shoulders. It was to keep her cool and warm all at the same time. She taped down the end of her wrappings against her left hip then shrugged on her dress. She grabbed her ninjato and her kusarigama, wrapping the chained sickles around her torso from her left shoulder across her right hip. She walked out into the hallway and down the stairs, bounding out the door.

This was Nevaeh's first day of her very first job as a chunin. She was going to be the new Kazekage's bodyguard. She was excited, and a little bothered. The new Kazekage was the old ones youngest son, Gaara. It was not a truly desired job, but it was something Nevaeh had offered to Temari one afternoon when she was complaining about having to leave on an assignment one day. They had been out at the market and she had expressed her worry for her younger brother with her absence, and Nevaeh had jumped at the job. She was ready for it, and it didn't mean that she had to exactly converse and interact with the young man. He was feared for a big reason, but Nevaeh wanted to prove her worth and muster by being his bodyguard, and she knew this was going to work out perfectly.

She hoped.

Nevaeh turned the next corner of the apartments to her right and paused, her eyes running up the structure of the Kazekage's domain. It was a large almost circular building, and was actually intimidating when it came down to it, but Nevaeh straightened her shoulders and smile a little, walking inside. There were a few Jounin scattered around everywhere, asking for her purpose at every turn. She had taken to just keeping her documents out for them to see.

After going up a new flight of stairs she was nearly plowed down by a familiar figure with four spiked hair extensions. As Nevaeh landed flat on her back, an oomph coming from a lips, a voice sneered at her. "Will you watch where your fuc- oh my goodness Nevaeh! I am so sorry," Temari crouched down and helped the young woman to her feet. "I didn't know it was you."

Nevaeh waved a hand at her, brushing a strand of bright pink hair from her face. "It's fine Temari really," she smiled widely. "I'm too excited about today to really care even if I was offended."

Temari smiled but her lips faltered and she picked at the dirt under her nails real quick. "Are you sure you want to do this Nevaeh?"

Nevaeh nodded, pink hair flying in every direction. "Yeah, if I wasn't so sure I wouldn't have come today, I would have just blown it off," she looked up the stairs to the blue door that was slightly cracked. "Is he in there?" she looked back to Temari.

Her teal eyes flickered up to the door and she sighed, nodding. "Yeah, he's doing paperwork, so just sit in the corner until he says something to you, which he most likely won't. He's not a real talkative person."

Nevaeh nodded. "I know…anyway, where are you going?"

"To get Kankuro from the genin school, he's helping teach a class on puppetry. We'll be back in an hour to see how things are going, get the approval from Gaara and then you will come stay with us for the night and we'll see how that goes."

Nevaeh's face drew a blank. "Stay the night?"

Temari nodded. "Well yeah, you'll be staying with him while we're on this mission. I thought I told you that?"

Nevaeh shook her head fiercely, her palms getting sweaty beneath the wrappings. "You never said _anything_ about that Temari!" she hissed lowly.

Temari shrugged and then started down the stairs, waving over her shoulder. "Good luck!"

Nevaeh glared after her and then sighed, her shoulders slumping. She didn't know she would be staying overnight with them, this was something she hadn't thought of. It wouldn't have bothered her so much if she had known, but being just thrown at her? Nevaeh was feeling uneasy. After a moment or two of mental preparation she shook her head, took in a deep breath, set her jaw and squared her shoulders. She could do this, she could totally do this. She walked up the last few steps and nudged open the door, cringing when it squeaked it's way open. Across the room she saw Gaara staring at her, looking rather impatient but slightly amused with her presence. She wanted to say something, but decided against it and bowed, her hair almost touching the floor at her dip.

"Lord Kazekage-sama, I am Nevaeh Hanamashi, your new bodyguard," she said, her voice soft under the pressure of his gaze.

She stayed that way for a long time, hearing the bustle of the townsfolk and children laughing outside on the streets, the click of sandals against the floors beneath her and the steady sound of Gaara's breathing. Oh, and her heart beat, which was sounding much more like a spastic drum solo than a heartbeat. She swallowed thickly and peered through her hair, seeing him still staring at her. What the hell was he waiting for? Did he want to see her do a trick or something? Should she beg, roll over, play dead? On second thought, he would probably enjoy the third option way more than she wanted.

"Sit."

She stood straight and followed the way his pen was pointed and saw a chair off to the left side (if you were facing it head on) of his desk. Nevaeh's eyes flickered to him and she bowed again, scuttling over to the chair and she plopped down in it. He stared at her a moment longer and then began to work on the papers scattered around in front of him.

Two mother loving hours later they were doing the same thing.

Nevaeh stared out the window, wandering where Temari and Kankuro were. Had they been held up? Had they decided to just ditch them?

"They are never on time."

Nevaeh blinked, her eyes going wide, and she looked over at Gaara, cocking her head to the right. "E-Excuse me?"

He continued writing for a moment and then sighed, setting the pen down and looking over at her. "They are never on time, always late," he picked up his pen again. "They can't even be too early…"

Nevaeh chuckled and ran her fingers through her hair. "If you don't want me here Gaara-senpai, you just have to tell me."

"Do not call me senpai."

He was talking to her.

"Why not?"

He shook his head. "It makes me feel…_old_."

"Oh…I am sorry."

"Do not apologize…" he muttered, narrowing his eyes.

Nevaeh slumped a little. "I've made you mad…I'll be quiet."

He looked over at her, eyes wide and filled strangely with…innocence? "No…you have not made me mad…" he looked down at the papers in front of him, the look on his face almost giving the impression of him just realizing what he was doing. "Paperwork is frustrating…maybe I should have thought of a better title."

Nevaeh chuckled a little and hesitantly stood up, looking over his signature. She bent over the desk, smiling at him. "You just need your signature signed?"

He nodded, his eyes flickering down her back for a moment before they riveted back to hers. "Yes."

"Then I can help you," she turned around and pulled her chair in front of the desk, taking half of the stack and seeing the lines that needed to be signed were marked with tags. "I uh…I got pretty good at forging signatures when I was a kid."

He didn't say anything after that, and Nevaeh was glad. She shouldn't have said anything, but she couldn't just sit there any longer. Nevaeh had never had an easy time _just sitting still_. She always had to be moving, always had to be doing something, whether it was playing with a piece of string or walking. If she sat still for too long she would get paranoid and jumpy, scream at some small sounds. It was something her grandmother said she had gotten from her mother. She slid piece of paper after piece of paper out of her stack as she smoothly signed his signature, making her own neat pile while he formed his own to his left, hers at her right.

"Thank you."

She looked up through her bangs. "Excuse me?"

Gaara looked up at her almost nervously. "I said thank you…no one has offered help yet."

Nevaeh chuckled, it felt good. "Well technically you're not supposed to get help with this, but you're young and I can't believe they expect you to just do all of this by yourself without any problems. It's almost rude actually."

"I would not know."

Nevaeh smiled at him again. She expected a ruthless, brooding person, but he seemed sort of lost. Or not. He was new to the title, he would catch up with the procedures quickly. If one of the Kage's just caught on right off the bat that would be a little weird, especially with the age thing he had going on. Nevaeh sighed and stretched her arms over her head as she was almost finished with her stack, looking over at the door as it squeaked. Her and Temari locked eyes and Nevaeh's eyes narrowed, her pointing the pen at Temari.

"You and I…we will talk in a minute."

Temari paused, pointing at her chest. "Are you talking to me?"

Nevaeh sighed and turned back to the paperwork she had left, thumbing the two pages. She pursed her lips and finished them off quickly, both signatures looking a little sloppy. She placed the pen beside Gaara's as he and her both stood. She turned to Temari with a slightly aggravated look in her eyes.

"You never said anything about me staying the night, so we need to talk."

Kankuro stopped beside her, looking her up and down. "You don't wanna hang with us?"

Nevaeh waved both hands at him. "You stay out of this."

He raised a hand and chuckled. "Feisty today."

Nevaeh huffed. "Well I'm a little flustered…I was told just two hours ago," her glare deepened at the mention of the wait. "That I was supposed to be staying with you, I didn't know anything about this until then. I didn't tell anyone where I went, how long I would be gone…"

Temari waved a hand at the window. "It's almost dark already…" she sighed and looked back up to Nevaeh. "I guess I can walk you back to your house. Are you two going home now?"

Nevaeh looked over her shoulder at Gaara and Kankuro. Kankuro shrugged and Gaara nodded. Temari sighed again and looked like she was going to stomp her foot, but refrained against it. Nevaeh smirked and stuck her tongue out, feeling smug about her having to trek back through town with her. At night. It got cold at night in the village, that's why everyone was rarely outside at night. Didn't want to freeze on your walk home.

"Well then let's go Temari," Nevaeh grinned.

She glared at the petite pink haired girl. "Oh shut up."

Nevaeh stuck her tongue out as she passed her. "That's what you get for not giving out all of the information."

Temari followed her down the steps. "I forgot!"

Nevaeh shrugged. "Either way I blame you."

They both shivered as the cold air hit them, and Nevaeh groaned. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to leave everyone else in the dark on all of this. Hurrying over to the Sand Siblings cozy home sounded perfect right now. But she couldn't do that to her grandmother, she was a feisty thing and tended to overreact. She would call in every ninja in the village to look for her. They turned onto Nevaeh's street and Temari moved closer to her, catching her curiosity.

"What's wrong Temari?"

The blonde looked over at her friend. "I just…got a chill is all. It's cold."

Nevaeh nodded. "Yeah…" she smiled when she saw home. "Alright, let's get this done."

They stepped into the small home, Temari leaving her sandals by the door. Nevaeh never wore sandals, they were of no use to her really. She supposed they protected her feet, but her wrappings were so thick nothing could get through but a kunai.

"Mama?" she called through the house.

"Kitchen, Nevaeh."

Temari and Nevaeh entered the kitchen, smelling the dumplings and pork slices freshly cooked. Oh how she wanted to stay, but Nevaeh needed this position so bad for her self esteem. Her grandmother seemed to sense this and looked at her with this curious look.

Nevaeh rubbed the back of her neck. Why was she making such a big deal over this? It was just one night. "I uh, I just stopped by to tell you that I have to stay the night with Temari and her siblings for tonight."

Her grandmother seemed slightly let down, something Nevaeh didn't want to see, but she nodded. "Alright then, when will you be back tomorrow?"

Nevaeh looked over at Temari, who shrugged. "Maybe around noon, but then we need her back. She is an official guard now, she will be on demand constantly."

Nevaeh expected that, her grandmother did as well and she smiled kindly. "That's fine sweetheart, as long as she doesn't completely leave me completely."

Temari waved a hand. "She will only be needed full time for the next two weeks, after that she will have a set schedule."

"Ok," Nevaeh muttered, a wave of exhaustion hitting her. All of this thinking was a hassle. "I'm tired, can we go? Sorry Mama…"

Her grandmother shook her head and embraced her in a one armed hug. "It's ok honey, I know how tired you get. Just come home tomorrow and see me."

Nevaeh pat her grandmother's shoulder. "Alright Mama…I will come over as soon as I can."

She smiled. "Alright, well you two hurry up, I see a young man waiting for you."

Nevaeh and Temari leaned back a little, peering down the narrow hall and seeing Gaara waiting outside the open door. Nevaeh smiled a little. "So do I…"

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_I don't know how I should really go about this story. I always appreciate tips, constructive critisicm, unless you're gonna be a total douche. Slow or fast paced? Anyone?_


	3. This Feeling

_**Sorry it took so long guys, a friend of mine's grandmother died and well...need I say more?**  
_

_**Nevaeh is...well, she's kind of childish. I don't mean aggravating, she doesn't play pranks or anything like that. I mean...I guess you could say she's 'special needs' but not quite there. She's very innocent in a way and doesn't understand a lot of things. She doesn't understand a lot of things. I hope you guys understand what I'm trying to say, I had to say something before I got uneeded flames for why she acts the way she does.**_

* * *

"You guys' house is amazing," Nevaeh muttered, stepping into the large living room, her eyes up on the arched ceiling. "I've never seen a house like this in the village..."

Temari leaned against the large arch leading into the living room, eyes running over the ceiling and then following Kankuro as he walked past her. "Yeah, dad was a real freak for architecture. He wanted to have a big luxurious house to match his position."

Nevaeh turned around to Temari, looking Kankuro over as he passed her. He made a funny face as he passed and Nevaeh giggled, shuffling to the side so he could pass her without bumping into her. Temari chuckled at them and ran her left hand up and down the front of her throat. A cold? Great, that's just what she needed right now, the day before she was supposed to go on this mission. She couldn't stay home for this cold, she had to just deal with it. It already felt like a doosy.

"Do you want me to show you to your room?"

Nevaeh looked over at Temari. "But...I'm supposed to be guarding Gaara right?"

Temari chuckled. "We're not gonna throw you out there the first night. We have plenty of guards out tonight for you to have a decent night's sleep before you start your nightly routines. Of course you will still have the other guards, but they won't be packed in so tightly around the house," Temari waved, beckoning Nevaeh to follow her up the stairs to the right. "There are guards on the East, North, South and West walls, all over the roof and surrounding grounds. Starting tomorrlw night they will be scattered out further. There will be some on the roof and maybe around the entrances to the house."

Nevaeh nodded. Sounds good, will there be others in the house?"

Temari shook her head and they began down the wide hallway. "No, then there wouldn't be any point in you being a guard now would there?"

Nevaeh blushed as they stopped in front of a door. "I guess not, was it a stupid question?"

Temari shook her head again, opening up the door an walking inside. "No, questions mean you're paying attention. This is your room, Gaara's is across the hallway. Kankuro's is next door to his and mine is the first in the hallway on the right hand side from the stairs. If you need anything at whatever time just come and knock, Kankuro may not get up but I will."

Nevaeh nodded and then sighed. "Well uh...I think I'm gonna pass out."

Temari looked at her with worry. "Are you ok? You seem awfully tired."

Nevaeh nodded again. "Yeah, I just over exerted myself a few times today. Kt happens sometimes since an accident I had when I was about seven. Nothing to worry about."

Temari didn't believe her but she wasn't gonna say anything. She had been friends with Nevaeh long enlugh to know when to pry and when not to pry. Now was one of those times she needed to stick to her own business.

"Well alright, I hope you get some sleep. I don't know if we'll still be here when you get up."

Nevaeh waved a hand. "Alright, how about you wake me up when you leave?"

Temari shook her head and started towards the door. "I'll get someone else to do it. You need your rest and we're leaving early."

Nevaeh pouted. This schedule made no sense to her, for the briefest moment Nevaeh imagined Temari and Kankuro lying about having to leave. But then she shook that thought away and smiled, nodding her head. "Alright, I guess...I guess I'll see you whenever you get back."

As she went to turn away Temari caught her by her shoulder and then gave that worried look again. "You ok honey?"

Nevaeh smiled a little wider. "Yeah, I'm ok. Just..."

"Nervous?"

"Incredibly."

Temari laughed and then flinched when she heard a grumble come from behind Gaara's door. Then she smiled. "There's nothing to be nervous about, odds are you won't have to lift a finger the entire time you're here. Just relax, get a good nights sleep and tomorrow you can start fresh faced. I'm sure you'll get over these nerve problems."

Nevaeh sighed. Temari was right. Temari was always right. "Ok...Ok, I'll do like you said."

Temari smirked. "Good girl."

In response, Nevaeh growled. "Oh, go stuff it Temari."

"You go stuff it."

"You both go to bed NOW!"

Nevaeh and Temari squeaked in unison as Kankuro's voice shot through the house, echoing off the walls. They both stepped away from each other as they heard a door click shut in the hallway. Well that was just plain rude. After another moment of standing in the hallway, they both said their good nights/good byes and went their seperate rooms. Nevaeh sighed as she shut the door, her back pressed flat against it as she slid down to the floor. Her hair bunched up above her head and then settled around her face. She pulled her knees against her chest and tucked her hands into her lap, staring at the floor, almost despondent.

Almost every night.

Almost every night, she was sucked into this kind of thing.

Her grandmother called it depression, Nevaeh called it hell.

She didnt know what it came from. She didn't understand why she was the only one to feel this way in her old home. It sounded like a bad disease ya know? She was sort of right.

She hated feeling this way.

* * *

_She could feel it through her bones._

_Every time it struck against the rocks it struck through her. Her chest vibrated, making her feel itchy on the inside. Looking over at him, she instantly knew he felt it too. That was never a good sign._

_"G-Gaara," she breathed._

_"Don't ," he muttered, eyes forward. "Just...don't."_

_"But I'm scared."_

_His eyes were riveted to her immediately. That was what always happened when she said those words, he was immediately hostile towards anything but her. "I promised I wouldn't let anything happen to you."_

_She stared, shaky still, but she felt the tensikn slowing. "I-I know..."_

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_**I hope you guys didn't mind this filler. I promise I will be updating more when the problems are settled.**_


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